I can't be too sure of the date without checking pay stubs, but somewhere around 1994 I quit my day job to become a musician. My profession at that time was doughnut baker, a rung of the Dunkin ladder which I made it to after a two years as a doughnut finisher.

Click to Enlarge!

I'm here in Montréal for my last night after spending the past few visiting with Marly and driving randomly around. If there is anything that I truly appreciate about how my brain works, it would be my sense of direction and the ability to learn how to navigate through a new environment.

It is often that I drawn a rudimentary map of somewhere I'm heading in a unfamiliar city. A few lines with sparce names and a star. It is often that I forget this map when I leave. I can't recall the number of times that I research the area via Google maps, draw something, leave it behind, and still end up where I am heading without problem.

Perhaps this is something like a photographic memory - the act of writing and drawing forcing my brain to remember it. Maybe that is why schools have students continually write down everything on the blackboard which is straight from the text books.

So, being extremely tight with my budget, I usually can't afford to go off on trips. It just so happened that the last trip to NC for Darren and Rachel's wedding earned enough points that I was able to get three free nights at a Holiday Inn on the edge of the city. I still have some points left over too. Well, me being me, I didn't do any packing, or planning ahead. I did attempt to gather some funds from a friend that owes me, but the timing was off by minutes as he called as I left asking if he could stop by to pay me. Needless to say, with one account negative, the other positive, a check for $100 in my pocket, and my last surviving credit card, I was strapped.

I remembered that there was a portion that said 'toll' on the route when I was checking the directions. One of the last things I did after saying goodbye to Jen a bunch was to ask her for a twenty to cover any possible cash only situations, like tolls. I'm sure glad she lended me $30 as I also forgot that I added a night to my stay here and was thinking that I was leaving today and wouldn't need to spend any additional monies.

My total for this trip so far:

03/09 -$30.00 USD borrowed from Jen
03/09 $8.60 USD lunch at India House
03/09 $50.00+ USD gas
03/09 $2.50 USD for Alexandria Bay Bridge toll
03/09 $11.23 CAN for a map I bought when I got confused
03/10 $11.00 CAN Restaurant Bombay Mahal
03/11 $5.00 CAN + $9.00 USD Les Cuisines Tibet Libre

$70.10 USD + $22.23 CAN

More to come...

Yup, I've had enough and have made the move. For a long time, Syracuse has been my reluctant home. I've felt the city is unexciting and meaningless to me for years, but it remained a central point between friends and family.

I first moved to Syracuse in 1995 to 113 Condord Place. This was a good time to be in Syracuse as my band had been doing well and Syracuse was between a list of cities we would play in. The location was also nice as it was around the corner from the Westcott area. Concord street is a rare one block long street with a garden separating either side of the street. This was my home for two years.

Around 1997, after the death of a friend, the ending of 99¢ Special, and the overflow of punks in the 99 house, I left for more stable surroundings. I found a 4 bedroom colonial house located at 106 Jasper St. This was a strange find, in the heart of an impoverished area, yet this one way corner had a mysterious blanket preserving it as a nice neighborhood. I brought Matt Lundy, my life-long best friend, and invited Herb Williams to move in.

The time spent here was troubled. Matt had during this time sought professional help and was diagnosed schizophrenic. During this time, he was not on any medication and was unstable. There was building tensions in the house and Herb and I had a falling out in which I myself went overboard calling the police trying to get him out of the house. This was possibly one of the lowest points in my life.

I had been planning a move to North Carolina, so at the end of 1998, I left Syracuse behind for the first time in 3 years. I spent nearly two years there in bliss and returned to Syracuse (Clay) to live with my girlfriend at the time for a number of months until I found a new home.

Around mid 2000, I moved to the Valley area of Syracuse, on the fringe of the Southside. My time at 25 Bradford Ct was good, I had plenty of space and kept it all to myself, except for the last few months in which I invited Andy to move in. In all, I lived happily for 4 years there and decided it was time to buy some property.

I moved in to my friend Zadoc's basement as a way to save money toward buying a new home. As it was, I found a school for $50,000 in Fulton, NY which was only 30 minutes from Syracuse and 15 minutes from my parents. I went for it and had saved over $8,000 for the loan. After going through all the motions which took more time than usual, I had spent a year in Zadoc's basement and was finally turned down for the loan. The bank didn't want to touch this type of property.

I had quit my regular job in exchange for being self employed for the first time in my life. Things were rocky at first and I couldn't afford to leave the basement, or even pay Zadoc the $100 he graciously offered as my rent. Things were bad financially at this time. In total I spent two and a half years in this basement.

Old 99 cameraman and friend Al Lock returned to NY in 2006 with my help. He was forming a house for his show 'Hate the Radio' and invited me to move in. I had gotten a better hold on running my business at this point and cautiously moved in fearing that I wouldn't be able to pay the bills. Regardless, I moved back to Syracuse and lived two or three blocks away from my first Syracuse home on Concord.

The move to Judson St. was a rebirth for me after living in a basement rotting. In the end, my business had stabilized and my financial standing with it. I was able to live again.

I spent about 6 to 8 months living in this house until I began spending all my time with my girlfriend Jen in Ithaca. Things at the Judson house had become unstable as Al went Christian and separated himself from his friends and the show which he pulled Pomp in to Syracuse for.

Pomp decided that it was time to leave Syracuse when we was mugged at gunpoint on Westcott St at 10 PM a few feet from Sabistino's and the Westcott Police Center. Having a gun waved in Pomp's face made my blood boil. I couldn't believe that this neighborhood had sunk to this point. So, Pomp planned his move to Texas, leaving just before September.

Myself, I had only spent about 10 days in the Syracuse home over the period of three or four months. My girlfriend Jen and I had grown quite close and I finally gave in to request that I move in with her, just outside of Ithaca.

In summary:
1995-1998 + 2000-2004 + 2006-2007 = 10 or 11 years spent in Syracuse.

End result:
Left for good, never again.

The real issue with Syracuse is that it has turned in to a crime free-for-all. There isn't enough of a police force to control the chaos that is building. One neighborhood at a time is being infected with crime. It is not safe to live in Syracuse anymore, or as I call it Scareacuse.

Yesterday, Labor day, I decided to google shootings in Syracuse, just to see how many have occurred. The results were overwhelming. It just happened to be that someone was shot in the chest in broad daylight around the corner from where I lived and in front of a park where families are. Unreal. Obviously, we left at the right time.

So with the discovery of this most recent shooting, I decided to create a Google map of 2007 Syracuse Fatal and Non-Fatal Shootings, detailing each shooting event. Each point gives the time of day, if available, approximate date, the location, the condition of the victim, and links to the sources.

As of right now, I've only gotten a few of them in. For your frightful enjoyment, here is the map in its current state:


View Larger Map

It's early, it's late, it's after an important date. What is happening in my skull needs definition, yet I'm unable to focus enough to see what I'm writing.

Tonight I saw off a homie from Texas that I've known only about 6 months. It's been real Optix, may your return journey be free of annoyance. Maybe you and Dave will see things that along the way that you would have never have seen. Maybe these things will make you look back for the rest of your lives. Hopefully these things are positive in the end.

Outside

of that, I'm really wasted. And MySpace is tripping me out in this 'View Source' mode. Things keep changing in a way that suggests to me that MySpace is not working as it should - in other words, as normal.

Tonight, I touched base with several people I hadn't seen in a long time. Some I met once, some I proposed marriage to previously.  Some where suffering the fate of seeing their ex'es with their news. Personally, I salute the news and say keep bringing the headlines that make life interesting.

Tonight,

PHOTOS OF BUGS!

I've finally placed a series of photos online of the insects I've virtually collected - inspired by recent dinner conversation at Sticky Rice. Mmmmm...

http://www.howdyhost.net/photo/insects/

I just whipped together a meal that I was so excited by, I had to take a photo before devouring.



Cheese Quesadillas with Sesame Kale:

First, I steamed the kale in my rice cooker. Usually I chop fresh garlic, but I was trying to make and consume something fast as i just finished lifting weights. It is vital to eat as soon as possible after working out if you want to gain muscle mass.

I had no idea what to have with the greens, until I remembered I had some flour tortillas. Since the kale was already steaming, I threw a couple tortillas in for about 15 seconds. Having sliced two types of cheese, Cabot Extra Sharp and Cabot Pepper Jack, I tossing each of the tortillas in a frying pan with just a sheen of extra virgin olive oil.

I squeezed out some premade spicy gaucamole and added some apple slices. When finished with the quesadillas, I drained and fried the kale breifly in both extra virgin olive oil and sesame oil. I added a healthy amount of garlic and salt, tossed the kale in the pan, and dropped in the bowl.

Yum.

Hi all, no one died yet, err, at least no one I know. I'm facing my mortality as I turn 33 1/3 years old on Saturday. On that day, I will have reached one third of a century!

Here is the official invite, and if you know me, you are invited. Since my main computer died, I'm having a hard time finding phone numbers and email addresses. So please realize if I haven't talked to you directly, call me and say, 'Hey! What's up? Were you purposely trying to not invite me?'

Download as a PDF here:

333.pdf

I look forward to seeing all of you in my home. You can find it easy using Google maps:
Google Map - They got the numbers wrong, it is this house and it really is 114, there is no 180.

I've been paying close attention to my weight recently. In the not to distant past, I was attending the gym three to four days a week. I had built myself up to near 150 lbs.

Since stopping, in the span of a year and a half, I lost about twenty-some pounds. I weighed in at 127 a few months ago, thanks to my limited budget at the time. Although the too poor to buy food diet works, I don't suggest it.

I've been weighing myself multiple times in a day and have stumbled on to something as a result. A few days ago, I weighed in at 139 before going to sleep. Upon waking eight hours later, I then weighed 132. During the course of sleeping, I lost 7 pounds.

First off, I do not drink enough fluids as it is, so it is not water weight. Second, I do not wake up and release 7 pounds of urine. For the record, I had not had a bowel movement either.

It thought it odd, and went on weighing as usual. Last night, I weighed 139 before bed once again. I went straight to bed, woke up some eight or nine hours later, weighed myself. This time I was at 134. This time I lost 5 pounds in sleep.

Now I'm thinking I need to keep a record of food eaten in a day along with weight at various points of the day. I'd love to sleep on a scale, see what the rate of weight dissipation is.

Yesterday I ate the following:

I have to admit, before I mention what this is about, that Craig said my steriod picture looked like Blue Steel from Zoolander. For those who didn't know, Blue Steel is a modeling look which Ben Stiller's character uses in the movie.

So now comes the other side of the question. Conqubine mentioned a face recognition/celebrity thingy, so I googled for one. Uploading my pic to the first one to popup, myheritage.com, I'm being told I look like Ben Stiller:

Would would have guessed that 'The Smell of Steve' would be success? I may be a bit early in claiming this is true, but with a little motivation and some long needed changes to my billing strategies, I have brought my company up to when it needs to be.

Looking at last year, I had started selling the wristbands around the end of April. To date, I must have sold about 3179 at an approximate value of $2.61 a piece. This doesn't take in to account the cost for processing credit card, nor the extra funds gained from the shipping and handling fees. With all the costs involved in making this wristband totaling around $6,122.61 (includes advertising) versus the amount taken around $8,284.23, there has only been a profit of $2,161.62 so far. End result being profitability being around 35.31% of the amount taken in.

At this point, anything sold is profit (minus advertising costs). I'd love to see these be sold off before Bush is out of office, but as his time is limited as President, I'm sure appeal will slope down quickly toward the end. This is unless Jeb decides to run!

So that was one endeavor I took on. It has been successful to a degree, but nothing to bank on. At its peak last year, the profitability was great, but this year it is low, so it balances it to be mediocre.

The true success is not that I've sold wristbands. Instead, my success lies in that I've been self-employed for around 16 months. I do admit, and many already know, that at times, I had only a couple pennies which I owed someone else in my pocket. I've known the reason for this and has actually been one which I take full responsibility.

Before I quit my 'day-job', I had been trying to do H.O.W.D.Y. work at night while on the side. The result was I was working nonstop daily and literally sleeping near 4 to 5 hours a day. Once the wristband sales began coming in strong, I quit the day-joy and went on my own.

Rather than work, I spent about 6 months relaxing after some serious burnout. During this time, I also started using credit cards to pay for things rather than cash. I had money coming in and everything was fine. I barely worked and still made the same as I did when employed.

Then it came, October last year hit and magically sales of the wristbands plummeted. I began doing some H.O.W.D.Y. work, but I hadn't ironed out a good business plan at the time. I wound up working on a project for $400 which took a month to do, and that is not at all profitable.

I still had money from the wristbands coming in, but it began dropping, and my H.O.W.D.Y. work was not making up the difference. I relied heavily on the $20,000 credit I had on my credit cards.

This brings us to now. As of 5 months ago, I was making about $300 a month with H.O.W.D.Y. As of last month, I had brought in $1800, an acceptable minimum. As of this month, I've already surpassed my bare minimum of $100 a day and expect that by the end of this week I shall have reached at least $2000 so far this month.

This is in part thanks to the vigilant head banging of my coach Deb, who put on the right path on how to properly bill my clients. I had been accepting work from my clients and would not be charging extra for extra work previous. I was being far to kind or more accurately stupid.

Another change which has propelled success is refusing to work without receiving funds up front. I had been burned several times by doing all sorts of work for the promise of payment and in the end would do too much for the chance to get something. Sometimes that something was only a waste of time with no payback.

With the change in policy, I've also noticed a change in the quality of clients. I'm now seeing better relations with happy clients and work being produced in good time. Before, the burden of due bills would through any work schedule to the floor as I would desperately search for new work.

Presently, I've gained nearly 20 new clients in the past month, and some have become regulars and others have been referring more clients my way.

In summary, I fully expect to see my debt be whittled down to nothing within a couple years. I also anticipate being able to eat food on a regular basis.

Life is good.

I've been trying to bulk up, I think the results are great!

I've calculated my third of a century birthday. As of September 16th, 2006, I will be 33.3333(infinity) years old. I think this is far more exciting that turning 21, 30, of 33.

I'm not one to celebrate my own birthday, but this one feels special to me in some way. I'm thinking that a party would be the appropriate thing! So, this is an early warning. On Saturday, September 16th, I will celebreate my 33 1/3 birthday with whomever decides to show. Details to follow.

Since I truly feel this is a monumental happening, I am trying to think big as to how to celebrate.

When I was a small boy, I grew up along a block length of Mohawk Street in Oswego. There are plenty of memories lodged in my mind and might be a little insight as to how I became the fool I am today. I do recall a few naked stories...

One such story was the day I left the house because I wanted to ride a tricycle up the sidewalk. Halfway to the end of the block, in front old Old Ray's place, I realized I was naked. Stopping abruptly, I pedalled fast back to home a few houses away.

Another naked story would be the night the onion plant caught fire on the opposite side of the block. I saw the flames filling the sky as the onion oil insured there was no putting it out. They had no choice but to let it burn away. It was probably summer, as I was not sleeping in clothes, so when I decided to see this fire first hand I left as I was. I figured everyone would be too busy watching the fire to notice a naked boy wandering through the night.

I was alomst right, until I passed the Guzman house where both the father and grandfather Guzman were sitting. They called out 'Hey boy, you know you're naked?' I told them what I thought about the fire watchers being to fixated on the fire to notice me. Sure enoguh, I made it around to the opposite side of the block and noone noticed. I stood there for a few minutes and watched it burn, then returned home.

Where were my parents during this? No idea.

Anyway, I'm sleepy, but was thinking back in time about lying on the sidewalk in front of Ray's house watching ants. It was then when I noticed my first flying ants. I swear there was a smell about them which I would later recall everytime I got out the leather ice skates - they smelled like fyling ants!

Many years later, I remembered out of the blue that there were such things as flying ants and began bugging my friends about them. I don't think anyone doubted their existence, but here is my proof that I'm not crazy! I do realize that in the Google Age it's not hard to pull some creditable evidence of such things, but I enjoy trying to use my own information I gathered through my life sometimes.

As I exit Universal Studios late night area for adults (basically themed bars that didn't do anything for me)



The last shot I took after a week in Wilmington before just as I left Darren's place, mind you Upstate NY still had snow and 3 months of cold to go.



Leaving Wilmington



I love the 70 MPH zones, although probably every day some fool goes 120 MPH down these roads and kills themselves

It has been years, two and a half to be exact. In November 2003, I abandoned my townhouse in exchange for a cold, black-walled, dungeon. Many have expressed their concerns for my well being, both mental and physical, since choosing this living environment. It was for one reason, to reach my finacial savings goal as far as possible so that I may buy a 7,400 sqaure foot school.

For those who didn't know it, although I had $8000+ saved, I was unable to secure a residential loan due to the type of building it was. In order for it to be considered for a residential loan, the bank required this dwelling needed to be remodeled, or at least plans drawn up. I drew up some basic plans and submitted them. After 6 months of waiting for an answer, the bank flat out declined to provide the loan.

At that point I searched for a commercial loan. In order to do that, I would have to apply as a business, which I had at the time, but only as a moonlighting operation. I instead was unable to secure a loan and another buyer grabbed the property.

Since then, I've been trying to decide where in the world should I be? Which so many ties to the Syracuse area, and the recent return of Al and Pomp (of Hate The Radio fame), my new future has finally been settled.

As of tonight, I will be a resident of Syracuse, NY once again. I'll be freeing my mind from the soul wasting Hell of this basement, and saving my body from nearly suffering frostbite during the endless Upstate Winters.

Homeless no more...

After packing up and leaving Fulton around 1:30PM on Saturday, I ventured to Syracuse where I picked out a a laptop which I wouldn't use on this particular trip, but for the future trips where I still need to manage my business. CompUSA had a great deal for 24 months of interest free credit, so I took up their offer.

Once I had the laptop, I said my goodbyes to my cold upstate climate and headed straight for 81S, leaving Syracuse at 3PM heading to Orlando, FL by way of Wilmington, NC. I'd be stopping in my second hometown in North Carolina to pick up my vacation benefactors who were providing me with the hotel room and other expenses while away.

Mindnumbingly lengthy, I arrived some 12 hours later in Wilmington. Some peaks of the trip were reaching 100MPH in certain select areas on occasion in the 70MPH long endless stretches. Outside of that, not much else to say except I was glad that segment was over.

I arrived at Darren's house and immediately began blabbing endlessly to make up for the days isolation from other humans. After a few hours of hellos and catching up, I headed to get me some food from the wonderous Harris Teeter which resembles the Wegmans chain of stores up North.

The following day, Darren, Dakota, Rachel and I gathered our things and prepared for the next segment of the trip, the drive to Orlando. Darren and Rachel had to bring the cat and dog out to a friends house, and upon returning, we packed the car full. I had packed my 3 computers and my server along with anything else I would need to fulfill my duties to my clients. The trunk reached a near 99% capacity!

The drive to Orlando started around 8PM with me trying to get some veggie food for my picky self, and then departing Wilmington toward Lumberton (the city name used for Wilmington in the movie Blue Velvet) a few hours away. There we jumped on 95S and head straight down through South Carolina, Georgia, and eventually past Jacksonville, Florida.

I was around 3AM when the signs for the 'sercurity patrolled' rest stop lured me in, at th 7 hour mark of the 10 hour trip. After juggling an ice cream sandwich and subsequently eating it, we all snoozed in the car until 6AM when I couldn't sleep anymore and returned to the road. The final few hours in the trek took me past my now deceased grandparents home of Deland before reaching the hotel around 9AM.

Unfortunately, Darren's son Dakota had become ill. Even worse, we arrived 7 hours before the check-in time. Being a Priority Club Member, I walked up to the special part of the desk past anyone in line and we confirmed our reservation and asked about getting in earlier if possible.

We spent the next few padded hours eating breakfast at the hotel attached T.G.I.F. (except for me), and then finding our space in the sun by the poolside. It was about 75, but the sun was keeping us warm as we waited for our check-in. After enjoying the heated pool and befriending another hotel resident, we finally got in and all crashed for some time.

Monday was great in retrospect, regardless of the hours waiting, as they were spent soaking in the sun. Tuesday brought pain, as Rachel and I both had plenty of red hot areas! Darren and Dakota both escaped any sun burns as Darren is very adamant about applying sun lotion. The laughable part is that I only burned in patterns clearly showing where I sprayed and where I merely spread the lotion, ending up with red blothes across my legs and torso.

Dakota still felt ill, so we decided to let him rest for the day, rather then go to the park. In place of the park, Rachel and I spent the day buying my a new router for my computer in the hotel and visiting with her cousin who lived a short drive away. We three wandered over to the blasé Universal Studios 'City Walk' section for adults. It featured many tacky themed bars for the vacationers to stumble in and out of. Needless to say, I did not enjoy myself there.

And so begins the new day with me typing this report at 11AM on Wednesday, wondering what adventures await us today. Sadly, Dakota is still running a fever and is bed ridden, so sad for the little man to be here and restricted to ab hotel bed.

I'll be back in NY in April after spending a week in NC. Until then, take care all, and try to stay warm!

That's right, it's been 10 years since the tracks were recorded and subsequently shelved until I aquired all the needed components to mix down the music.

Living up to the name 99¢ Special, my cheap ways have delay everything! But now that I've gotten the 24 digital hard disk mulittracker, I'm ready to finally mix down and produce the years in the making 99 CDs.

In the end, there will be:

From 2000 - Scraps (an updated version)
From 1996 - Intentional Overdose (most familiar 99 material)
From 1994 - Bag-o-Meat/Boot to the Head (Never released in complete form)
From 1993 - + tax & deposit (only released on 3 for 99¢ cassette tapes)

Also, the following sode projects will also be completed:

From 1995 - Disinvention
From 1994 - Ephemeral - Sovereign
From 1994 - Nature's' Descending
From 1994 - LMC

New material has been recorded in 2005 under the name of 'One Cent Left' and sketch idea mixes are available at onecentleft.com. There are a number of songs not yet finished which will be either 99¢ or 1¢ songs.

Trust me, I've got my work cut out for me.

Hurrah! Debts are mine to be had, I've just aquired a new expensive toy!



The Alesis ADAT HD24 is the nearly the top of the line hard disk multitrack recorder of our time. It records and playsback 24 tracks at a time and is now replacing the old outdated SVHS tape based Alesis ADAT-LX shown riding the HD24.

Sadly, the ADAT-LX has what I believe would be a bad head amplifier, so only tracks 1 to 4 out of the 8 total will play back. This means, I can't easily transfer all the ADAT SVHS tracks to the new unit.

This Friday, me and Zadoc will be heading to the studio where he has recorded for his forthcoming album, 'Tragically Ever After'. There, we will be able to dump all the tracks from his session as well as the 99 sessions from 1996.

I've been preparing for the last 25 years of my life to create something I can be proud of, and now is the time to put all the equipment and know-how to use.

Soon, I will be recording the remaining tracks for Zadoc and then mixing down to a master. Afterwhich, I will be returning to my second home in North Carolina to rejoin with Darren and begin 99 operations once again.

First 99 priority will be for me recording the new material I've had running about over the last few years and completely redoing the entire archive of songs from 1991 and on.

I'm not sure what should be done yet, but I'll most likely seperate the new recordings between 99 Cent Special and One Cent Left according to their styles. I've always had an ear for many types of music and 99 seems to fit a certain genre well, so I'll stick the un-99 stuff elsewhere.

Oh, what a night.

Let me preface this by stating that I suffered a mild to medium panic attack yesterday (Thursday). Thanks to some help from others and keeping calm, I made it through okay. Seeing as I didn't want to return home to an empty house, I continued on to Syracuse as being around people is the best thing I've found when a panic attack strikes.

I went to zone out at the Blue Tusk, where a friend of mine Tom Carpenter, of www.TomAroundTheWorld.com, works as a bouncer. Another friend of mine, Christine, was working a few stores away, and I tried to arrange to meet at the Blue Tusk or Limmerick's across the street.

I bounced between the two bars and Chris never showed. I was put out since it was only a few steps away to say 'Hi'. I did though by chance run in to a friend at the other bar who I hadn't seen in a month or so, so I wound up having a good time talking with him and his girlfriend.

The night ended okay after a troubling beginning, and I retreated to my bed for much needed and healing rest.

That was yesterday.

Today, I awoke around 5 or 6pm, as I did the day before, and I got myself together, and headed out the door to send out some late night mail. I began feeling the same feelings all over again, but they were much more subtle this time. I focused on keeping myself together and made it to the mall with with about 5 minutes to go before 9pm and when the Post Office there closes. While waiting in line, I slouched over a bit to try and keep blood in my head and kept a focus on not freaking out. I got to the counter, paid, and slowly walked out of the Post Office.

I didn't feel well at all so I decided to find the nearest seat. I sat for about 15 minutes and wanted to get a drink of water, but I felt too uncomfortable with the idea of leaving the sanctity and leaning support of the large landscape pot/sitting area. So I stood there, akwardly leaning against this object, staring listless at people, signs, and potting soil.

An officer came up to the inforation desk a few feet away and began chatting with the girl in the booth. I wanted to ask for help, but was a bit embarassed to admit it. I don't like feeling anything less than capable of being in control of myself, and in that type of situation, I realized that I've lost control and I needed to concentrate on getting it back.

Something happened in the lobby entrance not to far away that led the officer away from my ability of asking him for help. It turned out later that it was some fool who lost his car in the parking lot around the mall and was getting excited about it. I guess we all have issues from time to time.

Well, the officer came back toward me and I made eye contact and when he got close, I said that I wasn't feeling well. I explained that I have suffered from anxienty problems in the past and that I suspected my current state was a result of eating far too much rich and dark chocolate. He and his partner led me to a back room where I was given some spring water and a phone to call a friend.

I called Ray, who was my hero for the night. He immediately got in his car and came to pick me up. The mall security was informed that my car would possibly be left overnight, so I could be returned there anytime to drive home. Ray and I went back to his place where we strummed a little guitar and after feeling better, he challenged me to a lightsaber duel. I have to say, I was a bit unsure of the idea in my condition, but it was fun and perhaps aided in my mental recovery.

We then went to the Blue Tusk once again, as I feel being around people was the best thing for me. Immediately upon arriving, we saw Christine standing outside. I was indifferent at first after feeling 'stood up' from last night, especially since I wanted to explain how it was I winded up at her parents' house during the panic attack the day before. Yes, her parents are halfway between my home and Syracuse, and were the closest 'safe' zone.

Well, the night progressed fine enough. Darlin' Marlin made his appearance along with Rick, and I felt well enough to have a beer. I normally don't drink beer, but I'm cheap and this place it expensive to me.

I joined Ray as he was chatting with Christine, and we all doodled a bit before Ray annouced that he wanted to go home (always the first man out). Being as I woke up at 5 or 6pm, I had no urgency in getting home and Chris offered to give me a ride to the mall. Simple enough, sounded like a plan.

Well, Marlin and Rick took off, and Chris and her friend decided to do a little bar hopping. As she was my ride, I followed. We went down a few doors to the most obnoxious bar ever. It's so obnoxious, its name is its description, 'Bar'. Oh my, the place was filled with people I just have no interest in spending time around. The music was louder than Spinal Tap's volume level 11. The place was full of guys wanted to get some action, but they all didn't realize that just about the entire population of the bar was male. Pathetic.

I sat patiently for about 15 miuntes before I said to myself, this is not where I want to be, and I'm going to change that. I told Chris, I'm going elsewhere, it was too much to have my eardrums punished by the piercing sounds of AC/DC being played louder than an actual rock concert. She said that we were moving out as soon as the beers are downed.

The next stop was another stop on my list of 'Worst Places to Go for a Good Time'. This bar called Awful Al's, which is a smoking bar in a smokefree state. This means anyone that wants to smoke and drink comes there and smokes like the nonchalant drug addicts they are. Last place I want to be with my virgin lungs. So Chris instead entertained me by checking peoples IDs in the foyer of the bar. We talked for a while before she disappeared in to the bar which I would not fully enter.

After a spell of sitting in wait as the bar had closed and no one remained inside, a worker approached me asking what I was doing. I said I was waiting for the people who still were inside. The worker then entered and stirred Chris and her friend to come out. Unfortunately, there was one more inside that was the leader of this tour of misfortune. He was doing who-knows-what since we've left the Blue Tusk, but now we were standing in the cold waiting for him to emerge.

Finally, we decided to leave. Unfortunately, the tour guide resurfaced. He then brought us to a pizza parlor that had closed, but he knew the people there. He wandered what seemed aimlessly behind the counter. We stood and waited. He grabbed some misfortunate bum who wanted to buy a slice of pizza and through him out the door, literally in to and out the door. Time was standing still.

Enough was enough, Chris's friend wanted to go, I wanted to go, and so Chris agreed to leave, and we were told to leave by the workers there. This time, we actually lost the annoying fellow. We walked to the where the two girls parked their cars, and I offered to walk Chris's friend to her car, as Chris was already getting in hers. Her friend wondered what I was doing, and offered a ride, and I declined as it was not what was planned. With Chris on the other side of the circle, I walked back to where she had parked her car.

It was gone. Her car was facing in a direction that should have brought her straight by and that I couldn't have missed seeing her. Seeing Chris had left, I decided to try and see if I could infact get a ride from her friend who was still sitting in her parking spot. As I approached, she drove off.

I was feeling a bit confused. Where did Chris go? She had to have turned around and went the opposite way. Perhaps she just went home? Perhaps I just got played for a fool?

I walked back to the other side of the circle in time enough to see Chris's friends car turn and leave the area. After standing there for a moment, I realized there was only one thing to do. To walk.

My car was parked a few miles away, it was just below freezing out, and I needed to urinate badly. I had gotten about seven blocks away when I realized I had to do as the bums did. Under an overpass with no cars in sight, I began peeing against the wall. Surely, my moment of higher personal achievement could not be kept from the noses of those jealous of my act of freedom. A couple cars swung around from behind me as another group approached from ahead. There was no way to do this properly in these conditions, so I had to retract mid stream and was treated to a little more than a few drops in my pants.

Ugh, I've become a bum in such record time. I continued on, and finally got to the mall. I had wondered if they had towed it away without knowing I was given permission to park overnight, but that sad state didn't fall on me. Instead, my car was right where I left it, except now it was abandoned in a sea of empty spaces. Each step closer I anticipated the warth and the return to home. This night had gone on for too long.

As I was writing this chonical, Chris gave me a call and said she and her friend both spend a good deal of time circling the area in search of me. It seems we all just missed each other.

In reflection, I may have been hasty in walking to my car. In the end, I did prove to myself that even after feeling so terrible at the start of the day, I was able to rough it out through this nights journey.

Oh, remember the excited fellow that couldn't find his car? He wound up getting a ride from the mall security around the parking lot. I knew some of you just needed to know his end of the story too.

Ok, here's the game:

Take some lyrics, translate to German then from German to French, then from French back to English, post the results and let the guessing begin. Also, we are using the Google translate link.

Here is mine:

=====================================================
Freezing!
put at dead the wire of entry or the cube it does not have means today,
is him in its cells written that it has markings of a genius,
to me this man only seeks and anonymously however,
to sell to the other man him, to sell to the other man him,
for us rich and famous are formed to leave celebrates concerned richly and famous!

- You lock the objective,
to two - you attract the line
three - that you extend the network
and four slowly - you verfangen verfangen,
you it man him verfangen the man you it man him which looks at well.

I seek this man, to sell to the other man him,
to sell to the other man him with at least which I seek this man who knows,
the directives of the play which that LageIST to forget that to carry out my objective to him

one - him objective locking that
two - him that line to attract,
three - you slowly extend the network and the
four - you it locking of man of the joints of objective him verfangen 10mal the price, the line locking Net the freezing of man verbritt!

Wire of entry aiming to kill dead out of Oder of the attack!
I seek it man whom I make this man him,
to sell to the other man,
to sell to this him to the other man with 10mal the price seeks at least
=====================================================

Oh and a special bonus for anyone that guesses this gem:

=====================================================
Perverted music pushes by technology,
since the destiny would have it and the reality which I am forced,
face to follow to the bottom,
me intentions of fear of my brother
is much with the life for does not chamfer my of Sanity
to require durably by directives
which are noted by arrived the company,
victory of a tear does not lubricate

in a not very clear way and I want it that manner
there much of problems in the world today
why is not right, i-Sklave for personal profit for me
if, you, do not govern destroying that the tests
to take the 5th way to you
=====================================================

Hoohoo, what fun!

I've always wanted to go to a mass protest for something I believe in. Now I have the freedom to do these things, and also it is a good venue to try and sell a wristbands and maybe a shirt or two...

See you all at the Brooklyn Peace Fair!

Click here to read about it all

I believe I will have to give Cindy Sheehan some wristbands. I truly do hate this war, by the way, WE ARE STILL AT WAR!

Lulu, will you be around on Saturday???